So I'm now almost 3 weeks past my surgery. I've being meaning to post another entry, but have just had my mind on other things.
Fortunately, the surgery went really well - the surgeon wasn't quite sure what he would find when he looked up my nose, but luckily the tumor was at the distal end of the olfactory nerve. That means it was at the lower end, and not near or past the base of my skull. So the margins were clear and while he did have to remove the nerve completely, he only had to make a small hole in the base of my skull and he was able to cauterize it immediately and so the risk of a spinal fluid leak was a lot less. I woke up feeling really good and starving! I had no pain and only took a tylenol after 2 days of being flat on my back and enduring a very uncomfortable MRI on the last morning there.
I went in on Tuesday and was able to come home on Thursday. I was on bed rest for the next week until my follow up with the doctor. The only outstanding issue I had was that the vision in my right eye was blurry - and my right cheek was numb. The surgeon didn't poke about near my facial nerves, but I think the swelling internally might have caused it. So the MRI before I left the hospital was just to check that. But it didn't show anything, so I had a follow up with an optholmologist this week and since it's been getting better, she didn't think it was anything to worry about.
The positive from all of this is that the surgeon said if I was 80, he would stop after the surgery. He would feel confident that the cancer would not return in my lifetime. But being 32, he doesn't ever want it to come back. So that means that chemotherapy and radiation is still the next step. Damn - I was still hoping he would say - we had the wrong file and you don't have cancer. You don't have to shoot yourself full of hormones so you can have your eggs harvested. You don't have to lose your hair. No such luck!
Everything hit me hard this week when I met with my oncologist. Seeing bald people with bandages on their arms made me cry. The worst part was that I freaked myself out about the paperwork - hoping my fmla and short term was filled out. I was worried it would be approved. I don't know why I worried so much - the doctor said he would sign off on everything. I did get all my questions answered - and we got the schedule - C-day is November 12. First day, Cisplastin. Second and third days, VP-16. Fourth day, Nulesta. Then a 2 week break and then it begins again.
I cried more about all of this than I did about the surgery. I'm scared because I don't know what to expect. I don't how I will feel. I don't want to miss out on the next few months while WBC continues to grow as a toddler. But this is important. I need to go through this so that I have the rest of my life ahead of me. I'm just trying to remember that.
